#i can't do this continuously i'm stressed

[stringofswineteeth]

I feel like its also worth mentioning that some people take "this pain is unpleasant and distracting" to mean they should say something between 10-an absurd number. So doctors assume you are exaggerating and any number you give they tend to assume is too high.

If you deal with a lot of pain so you get used to masking. Or you don't show your pain the same because of something like autism, you will be taken less seriously. The assumption is that if you are in enough pain, you will scream and cry even though some people just go silent.

I usually straight up say I'm not playing their number game because it doesn't make sense to me, then let them know I both have difficulty perceiving and expressing what I'm experiencing, so they need to assume my pain is worse than I make it sound, not better.

Also, keep in mind that doctors aren't required to do continued learning, and the culture of medical spaces encourages superstition, stereotype and bias. Meaning women and black people will be taken less seriously for pain. People with mental health history will be assumed hysterical and anxious. People with dyed hair or who stink might be assumed drug seekers.

If you come across rude or pushy they are less likely to believe or want to help you. If they are older especially, but really anyone, the lack of continued education means they might be working with outdated information, so be prepared with up to date information on your pre-existing conditions.

Medical school is traumatic, and working in medicine is stressful, so a lot of your doctors will be very sensitive and on edge. It's important not to make them feel like their authority or intelligence is being questioned. You can be patient, understanding, and appreciative of their expertise while still making it clear you live in your body and therefore know yourself best.

This doesn't mean doctors can't or don't want to help you, but it's important to understand what you are fighting against so you can better be prepared and get taken more seriously. It's not great that we have to be so responsible for our own advocacy, but when living in an imperfect system, you need to be aware of how to work with it.

My face is having uncontrollable spasms. Great. It hurts really, really, really bad.

I think part of why I have trouble explaining pain to the doctor is when they ask about the pain scale I always think “Well, if someone threw me down a flight of stairs right now or punched me a few times, it would definitely hurt a lot more” so I end up saying a low number. I was reading an article that said that “10” is the most commonly reported number and that is baffling to me. When I woke up from surgery with an 8" incision in my body and I could hardly even speak, I was in the most horrific pain of my life but I said “6” because I thought “Well, if you hit me in the stomach, it would be worse.”

[bringerofdarkness-fancomic]

Bringer of Darkness: Arc 1, Page 29.

AH...?

<PREVIOUS | FIRST | NEXT CHAPTER>

And that's a wrap on this prologue! Thank you all SO MUCH for following along with Bringer of Darkness' progress so far, and enjoying it all up to this point!!

I know I say stuff like this a lot, but it means so much to me that you like it as much as you do, and I can't stress that enough. I've spent two years on this prologue, then reaching a point where I finally have it all done is... so surreal.

Therefore, from the very bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you to every single one of you. I'm so glad you're all enjoying it, much more than I can ever find the words to say.

That's it for now. I won't be putting this blog on hiatus, as I'll likely still be continuing to post stuff for it, but the comic itself is done for now... until I get started on that First Chapter, of course. But that's not for a while since I need to properly write it. :)

Once again, thank you all so much.

Your pal,

~ Zeisty King.

[thebangtancloud]

bts reaction being very rude towards reader the whole day. please make it angstyyyy

He's being rude ~ BTS Reactions (Hyung Line)

Genre: Angst Warnings: I'll try to make the scenarios a bit different in each one. quite angsty, lol. brace yourselves. curse words, fights.

BTS Reactions Masterlist || BTS Masterlist

Kim Namjoon:

"So we've come to this now? Walking out of fights?"

Namjoon conveniently chose to ignore your words, continuing to pack his bag quietly.

"Namjoon, can you...can you just talk to me for a moment, please?" you pleaded, running a finger across your eyebrow in frustration.

It had been a long day, and a fight with him was the last thing you wanted, the last thing you needed at this point. But before you knew it, Namjoon and you found yourselves in the middle of an argument over an extremely petty matter, harsh words flying across the room like dirty confetti.

"Babe, just-"

"Don't touch me," he snarled, brushing your hand off of his arm when you tried to stop him from packing his stuff.

"You've said enough, and I can't take this shit anymore. You always do this, (Y/n). You always act as if the weight of the whole world is only on your shoulders and that only you can feel stressed and lonely and everything else you were complaining about today."

"Complaining?" you asked in disbelief, a sharp pain stabbing you in the chest at his words. "I just wanted to express my feelings to you, Namjoon! It's been a long day, can I not talk to my boyfriend about my day?"

"You can!" he exploded unexpectedly, turning to face you and giving you a bit of a fright at his sudden movement.

"You can talk to me about your day, you can. But the problem with you is that you don't understand the difference between talking and blaming."

"What do you mean blaming?" you frowned.

"Really?" Namjoon placed a hand on his hip, giving you a look.

"Really, (Y/n)? 'Nobody is even there for me anymore. You're always busy, you can never make time for me. I'm lonely. I can't talk to my friends cuz they're all changed and not the same anymore.'" Namjoon recited your words from earlier. "Shall I continue?"

"How is that blaming? I didn't blame anyone! I just told you how I felt!"

"No, (Y/n)," he shook his head. "This is what you always do. You don't start any conversation with the intention to just vent your feelings. You always jump into how everyone is wrong and only you are the poor soul in the world who is hurt by everyone's wrongdoings. Get over yourself."

"Namjoon," you whispered, not knowing what to say.

Had you really been that way? All you knew was that it had been an extremely depressing and stressful week for you, and every time you tried to talk to Namjoon, he was busy with work. Your friends too began to betray you in ways you did not want to get into at that moment, but the words that Namjoon spoke were nothing less than knifes slicing right through your skin.

He turned back to the bag, aimlessly dumping a pair of clothes and his charger into it.

"You don't always get to play the victim card, (Y/n). Please get over yourself. You're not the only one who has bad days. Are you really that selfish that all you could think about is yourself?"

He suddenly turned to face you.

"Did you not once think about me? Did you never think that even I would want to come home after finally getting some time off from work so that I can talk to my girlfriend about my issues and struggles and maybe feel good about it? I don't ever blame you for not being there? For not asking me about my problems? Do I? Have I said anything until now?"

Your head dipped in shame, not just feeling fully hurt by everything he said, but also knowing that he was partly right. You wanted to make it right, but you did not know how. Yet, before you could say anything, Namjoon zipped up the bag, throwing it over his back and walking towards the nightstand to take his phone.

"You really need to get over yourself. The world doesn't revolve only around you. Stop being so selfish and victimising yourself every single time. I'm not gonna take your shit every time."

Kim Seokjin:

"Babe," you tapped his shoulder as you continued to follow him around the house. "Babe!"

"Yes," he nodded dismissively, not even bothering to turn to look at you as he pulled out random stuff from the cupboard and began to rearrange them in a useless attempt to look preoccupied.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"Then why won't you talk to me?" you questioned, your voice progressively falling into a sad tone with each moment that passed by.

"I am."

"But...but," you looked around desperately, as if it would help you find the words that you wanted so badly to say to him. "But it's not normal."

"It's normal."

"Jin," you whined, walking closer and pulling at the fabric of his sweatshirt. "Talk to me, please."

"I am," he repeated, looking as disinterested as ever as he shut the door of the cupboard and began to walk back to the living room.

"You're being mean," you mumbled, still choosing to follow him into every room that his feet took him to. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No."

"But you haven't even looked at me properly in the last few hours!"

At that, his movements came to an abrupt stop, his head turning to face you rather dramatically.

"And you still didn't get the hint?"

A low gasp left your chest, plopping down onto the sofa beside him since that was what your plan was before he hit you with this statement.

"For what?"

He chuckled, although it was evident there was nothing that he found funny.

"Maybe I just don't feel like talking to you, or-" once again, he turned to look at you straight in the eye, "look at you...properly. Not everything is about you. Go and, I don't know....live, I guess."

"That's really fucking rude," you spoke, not even caring to hold yourself back. How dare he? After treating you like a stranger for the past few hours, you were not about to take this shit from him.

"Nice choice of words, Jin. You could have told me what you really intended to say, which clearly was to get a life. Why keep that back? You've already proven to be nothing but a butthole for the last few hours, why be nice now?"

"I'm not trying to be nice," he snapped back, but before he could open his mouth to speak again, you held a hand up straight to his face, shutting him up effectively.

"You're telling me to get a life? Alright, cool. Thanks for that, Jin. From now, don't be the amazing boyfriend you were just a week ago begging me to take some time off to spend your holidays with you. And I know that not everything is about me, so hey, go enjoy your amazing life, and I will too. Wasting my time running behind you is clearly what you don't want me to do."

Min Yoongi:

"Yeah, that's fine."

"What's fine?"

"The dress," Yoongi murmured disinterestedly. "Take it if you want."

"Yoongi," you sighed, walking towards the plastic chair that he was sitting on. "Did you even look at me?"

"Yeah," he nodded, his eyes fully trained on his phone as he continued to type on the screen.

"Yoongi!"

His fingers stopped, and you watched as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"What?"

"Does this look like a dress to you?"

Finally, his eyes trailed over your outfit, noticing that you were wearing a pair of dirty grey jeans and a yellow top shirt with flowers on it. He thought you were wanting to buy a dress for the party that evening.

"Oh," he stated lamely. "Sorry."

"Are you...what - are you even interested?" You asked him in frustration, pulling the hair tie off of your wrist and tying your hair up. The anger that was building up inside of you was beginning to make you feel hot and clammy in the small clothes shop that you brought him to.

"Yeah," he replied simply.

You sighed shakily, not wanting to make this into an argument, yet not knowing exactly how to not do that.

"You were not even looking at the previous outfits I tried, were you? Why'd you say the dress is fine?"

He shrugged, looking back down at his phone.

"I dunno," he mumbled under his breath, "thought you wanted a dress. But this is fine, good thing you didn't go for a dress."

"Why?" Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Can you just get whatever you want and then we can leave?" His voice was laced with a tone of annoyance, his eyes naturally drifting to the exit of the store.

"No, what do you mean its a good thing I didn't go for a dress?"

"(Y/n)," he clicked his tongue, running a hand across his face. "Look, it just doesn't suit you, man. I don't know why you have this weird obsession with those kind of dresses, they make you look pregnant."

"What?" You couldn't stop the gasp that left you. "What the hell?"

"No, look, I know how you are. Don't get me wrong, I am not calling you fat. I am saying that the cut of the dress is very weird in the stomach area, it bloats out and makes it look like you're pregnant. I'm not saying you're fat, so don't go down that path. I'm just saying that the dress does not suit you."

"How long have you kept that inside of you, huh?" you questioned him, already feeling too hurt by his words. "It's been a couple of months since I have been wanting those 'dresses' that I know that now how much you think it looks horrid on me, and you only choose to say this now?"

His face changed into one that showed nothing but irritation.

"I knew you'd say something like this. That's why I kept my mouth shut all this time. Can we just go? Or you know what, I'll go. You can continue shopping and get whatever you want."

"What the hell, Yoongi?" you said in disbelief. "Why are you being so rude? What's wrong with you?"

"Look," he sighed, standing up from the chair and looking away from you. "I just wanted to rest, okay? I didn't wanna go out, shopping, movie, lunch, this or that. I didn't want any of that. I even told you. But you insisted and dragged me out here. So don't blame me if I look like I don't wanna be here. Before we left, I told you I didn't wanna go, but you forced me. So deal with it."

"I forced you?"

"Yeah, you insisted and made all those faces and quite literally blackmailed me by saying that I don't love you anymore. You were so wrong to say that, dude."

"I was joking when I said that, Yoongi," you whispered. "I just wanted to go out with you. We haven't been out in almost a month now and we have to go for Hoseok's birthday party anyway, I thought we could get some things for that."

"Well, I didn't, okay? And if you wanted to get stuff for his birthday, you didn't have to say that I don't love you anymore. That's totally unrelated, if you wanted to spend time with me instead of getting stuff to prepare for his birthday, that would be different. I didn't wanna go out, do any of that stuff that you just said. So please, take your time, do all that, I will be in the car."

Jung Hoseok:

Words couldn't describe just how painful it felt to watch Hoseok withdraw from your touch. The people seated at the table fell into an uncomfortable silence, the abrupt action making everyone furrow their eyebrows in confusion and worry.

"I told you to stop doing that, (Y/n)."

"Doing what?" you mumbled rather lamely, not even knowing why you said that when you knew just what he was talking about.

"Stop touching me again and again! God...I-" Hoseok sighed rather loudly, dropping the spoon onto the plate and standing up from the chair.

"Sorry guys, please excuse me."

"Hobi-"

Before you could get out another word, the man was at least three feet away from the table, and all you could do was watch in dismay as he stormed out of the restaurant.

"What's going on?" Jimin asked softly, being the one right next to you. His tone was rather soft, as it was obvious how incredibly awkward and embarrassing this was for you. "Shall I go talk to him?"

"No," you whispered with a shake of your head. "He's just a little sensitive today."

"Did you guys have a fight?" asked Jungkook from across the table, followed by a soft hit to the arm by Namjoon which served as a warning to not cross it.

"Why don't you go talk to him?" the leader suggested, concern apparent in his tone. "We're here, don't worry about us."

"Uh..." you trailed off, looking back at the door to the exit before nodding. "Yeah, maybe."

"Take your time," Jimin urged with a kind smile, patting you softly on your shoulder. "Talk to him, he will understand. Sort it out properly."

With a stiff nod, you stood up from your chair, making your way towards the exit, knowing that all eyes at the table and even around were trained on you.

It took you about five minutes to find Hoseok, who was leaning against the wall of a building further away from the restaurant, and whatever held you back in that moment just...left, a strange sense of shock and urgency fuelling your next movements.

"What the hell?!" you exclaimed, reaching him in no more than three large steps, your hands moving on their own accord as they snatched the cigarette straight out of his mouth.

"(Y/n)!" Hoseok yelled out, his eyes looking down at the bud that was now in a small wet puddle near your foot.

"What's wrong with you?!"

"What's wrong with me?" you repeated, your tone now matching his. "What's wrong with you Hobi? You smoke?"

"Yeah!" He shouted, pushing your arm off of him that went to grab onto his jacket. "Yeah I smoke! With you on my bloody back all the goddamn time, I have to!"

You let his words sink in, subconsciously taking a step back.

"What part of 'stay away from me' do you not get, (Y/n)? I'm not like you! I need my fucking space and if you didn't get the hint until now, let me spell it out for you! Stay the fuck away from me! I don't want to resolve this fight, I don't. I'm fucking tired and I don't have it in me to deal with your bullshit anymore! Just give me my space, man!"

It took a good moment for you to swallow that painful lump in your throat, the tears not even caring to ask for permission as they simply slipped out of your eyes.

In a hopeless attempt at trying to make this better, you raised your hand up mindlessly, wanting to reach out to him.

"It's been three days, Hobi," you whispered sadly, not really knowing what else you could do. At this point, the man in front of you was doing nothing but add to the misery that you were already drowning in. "What more can I do to sort this-"

"I just told you," he spat through gritted teeth, both hands now clutching his hair in complete frustration. "I don't want to sort this out! Let it be this way. If this is the end, so be it! I don't want to do anything about the fight and our situation right now. So just leave me the fuck alone!"

"What do you mean 'if this is the end'?" you cried, your breaths now ragged and harsh. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"Look, (Y/n)," Hoseok blew out air through his mouth, a very clear sign that every part of this moment was irritating him beyond control.

"I said, I don't want to do anything about this right now. We're fighting, I'm crazy mad, you're upset and crying. I don't want to do anything about it. Just let me be. Let us be. I don't want to do anything, neither end it nor make it better. Just...just let me be. Please, stop following me everywhere and calling me all the damn time. I need space, I don't know what else to say to you if this isn't clear enough for you. I don't want to be near you right now."

🫣

[ventique18]

Book 7, Chapter 7, Episode 101:

So the DiaRamshackle squad landed in Ignihyde, where they meet the completely aware Idia. They had thought they got out of a dream into the "real world", but it turns out they're just outside of Lilia's dream but still within Malleus' magical domain expansion-- which is Idia's "dream" now. Proof of this is because Sebek's still wearing his armor.

At this point in time, apparently they haven't really conversed with Idia yet. Sebek barely remembers that Idia's the Ignihyde housewarden LOL.

Sebek: "... That's right! I knew I've seen that face before. You're Ignihyde's housewarden! Back at the entrance ceremony, you attended in some sort of board-like thing. This might be the first time I've seen you in proper form."

Sebek: "I am from Diasomnia, First Year, Class D, Seat 33, Sebek Zigvolt!!" WHY IS HE SO ENTHUSIASTIC LMAO

Sebek: "This dopey man right here is Silver. Second Year, from the same dormitory!!" (DOPEY DSJKNDAS HE'S BASICALLY SAYING HE LOOKS HIGH LMAO)

Idia: "Are Malleus and co.'s ears still fine from being blasted by this boombox everyday at close-range..."

Silver: "Everyone, on alert! Idia-senpai, Grim, prefect, get behind me and Sebek!"

AND SO SUDDENLY THEY'RE GETTING ATTACKED??

Idia: "Wuh?! What's this all of a sudden?! Ow, ow! I'm getting crushed between hard muscles and hard armor!"

IDIA????? IS THIS THE RIGHT TIME AND PLACE TO BE COMMENTING ON MUSCLES OMFG LMAO

So the "darkness" have come for Idia because they sensed that someone needs to be lulled back to sleep lol.

Grim: "Malleus might pop up again to say "You're awake?"..!"

Sebek: "The "darkness" are fine, though I do not know if we can win against Lord Malleus without Sir Lilia..."

"No, we are ready!"

Sebek: "Whether it be the darkness, or Lord Malleus... We will definitely strike back!!!"

Idia: "Uogh... Wai-- too close... Can't... breathe..!"

HE'S LITERALLY SHAKING BACK AND FORTH HELP

AND THEN SUDDENLY SOMEONE SPEAKS!

???: "About Malleus and the dark shadows... You don't need to worry about them for a while. I think he's spending considerable "resources" trying to get Lilia Vanrouge back to sleep."

Ortho: "Hehe, sorry for making you worry."

Apparently, Ortho's appearing in monitor mode for now because trying to appear as his usual form in Idia's dreams causes some serious errors.

Ortho: "Anyway... Everyone, brother's face is already turning blue from asphyxiation. Can you let him go now?"

So the two let go of him and Idia let's in a HUGE GASP FOR AIR

Idia: "ohh I almost descended to the underworld... Tha-thanks for the save, Ortho..."

So anyway, Sebek starts questioning the two what they mean by Malleus using up resources to put Lilia to sleep. Ortho starts the explanation by recounting events. That during Lilia's farewell party, Malleus put everyone to sleep-- no, froze time and space itself. But Ortho in particular managed to escape from the island through communications satellite. Everyone was shocked because Ortho could do something like that?! Ortho just laughs and says his "peculiarity" was helpful, because while he's not a mage and therefore cannot have a unique magic, he can transmit his "soul" through radio waves.

Sebek: "Loathe as I am to admit... but human advancement in machinery is amazing."

Silver chimes in and praises that Ortho's uniqueness is something they can never attain no matter how hard they train. Ortho moves on, explaining that he went to STYX headquarters and there, they hatched the plan for Ortho to infiltrate Sage Island in order to analyze Malleus' unique magic, Fae of Maleficence.

[forcedhesitation]

*wheeze* slowly, but surely, working on art of them all

[mothpdf]

crying on the public transport

[suddencolds]

~

[todayisafridaynight]

I hope this isn't weird but earlier I was thinking about how much good artists do in the world, and so many artists don't recognize it. You bring a lot of joy to a lot of people. I've gotten a few commissions from you at this point, and every time I look at them I get so happy because, man, there was someone who took time to create something for me (I know I payed, but still!) Beyond that, I have seen when you draw little doodles just because people inspire you to eith their asks. You practiced your skill and you use it to make others happy and that's so valuable. You contribute a lot to this world just by bringing people's moods up, and I hope you recognize that. You're pretty awesome :)

t thank yuou ,....

[nerdyfangirlingbooks]

Every now and then I remember the times I would mention to my flatmate that I was thinking of buying myself something reasonably expensive (that I had been eyeing up for months and had budgeted for) and she'd tell me that I shouldn't spend that much money on something I didn't need and it would be stupid etc etc while she regularly impulse bought things that cost at least as much and she would use once (while complaining that she was under a lot of financial stress and couldn't afford <$3/week for 2 months for a rental washing machine when ours broke). She is... perhaps not my first call for financial advice

[cimeriansparrow]

My mom got mad at me this morning bc "I never talk to her," but every time we try to really talk, it turns into a massive fight (guess what happened 15 minutes ago)

I can't even ask questions without them eventually leading down a road where she keeps cutting me off and begins to yell at me. Obviously I'm taking a tone with you. Not only am I literally just speaking to you in the way that you speak to me, but being spoken down to for 22 years really teaches you that it doesn't matter How I speak to you, you won't ever Listen. Idk. I'm tired of living in a house where I can't even try to talk to my parents about the smaller stressors that I have.

Tried to bring up what's been going on the past few months bc she accused me of being depressed and lazy and. Yeah. I was depressed for 3 months. Thank you So much for noticing. It really speaks volumes to me that you didn't say anything about it while I was going through it?? I tried explaining that a new medication (that she knew I was taking!!! I told her when I switched to it!) Was causing me immense brain fog and seriously scary suicidal ideations that I did nearly act on.

And she got pissed and started yelling bc I never talk to her, and when I asked her to stop yelling she told me that she's gonna yell because she shouldn't be made to feel like this in her own house. She just went through a massive surgery and she's had to walk on eggshells around us when we should have been taking care of her (which we did. And it fucking tears me apart that she doesn't realize how much of my own life I've given up already to make sure she's been taken care of) and she's done with tiptoeing around all of us and she just kept going and going and going and going and going because she doesn't actually ever know when to fucking stop.

No shit we don't talk. Every single time I try to talk with you it ends up like this. With me trying to calm down after stepping away after you've accused me of some wild shit and when I come back to try to talk normally you're still yelling. In fact, you're more incensed than before.

For some reason she thinks adhd medication will fix everything. Like it's some sort of cure all and I don't have a decent handle on it. And every time I bring up that I've done some research and I feel like I might be on the autism spectrum she tells me that's stupid and people are making a trend of it and that's why I feel that way and I shouldn't think that because none of us (myself and two younger sisters) are autistic.

If none of this makes any sense to anyone reading, know that that's how Every Single conversation with her goes. If she's not in a good mood she's going to bring you down to her level of emotion. She will make it about her through the stupidest methods possible, and after being emotionally manipulated like that my entire life it's hard to see exactly what's going on because she comes at you so fast.

[newwave-lesbian]

oh things suck?? oh yeah why don't i continue on with the same routine even though it is doing me no good and draining my money and keeping me stuck in the same place forever. yeah that's nice

[cuntwrap--supreme]

The fucking audacity of this man to tell me he's never cared about me, then ignore me when I say that it was unfair to lie to me when I've clearly been in love with him for years, only to come back almost 2 months later asking me how work is. I can't do this shit. I'm too stressed as is. Too few spoons for my own day to day.

[britneyshakespeare]

well i didn’t get my paycheck in the mail but i did get a referral notice from my doctor saying that i can expect to see an endocrinologist... in SIX. FUCKING. MONTHS.

[just-some-guy-joust]

@ the anon who asked about if a specific fish has been submitted, yes! it has! i will not name it publicly tho since i don't want people to Not submit specific fish just because one or two other people already have! assuming you are not the person who has submitted the creature you asked about, if you really want to be sure they'll get in then ! go nominate them!

[spectruff]

something something aizawa ch 23 new pfp merry christmas

[naivety]

this is why i'm a deadcoded samgirl